101 Tony Stark Pranks
by Treadaway
Summary: In which Tony gets bored and the rest of the team (and some others!) become victims of it. Crackfic, there may be bad language, sexual referances and a Hulk-sized whoopee-cushion. Rated T to be safe.
1. Tis only the Beginning

_**New fanfic! I think I'm going to enjoy writing this! ...Even though I should be concentrating on my other fic. Oh well, here's the first chapter!**_

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The huge explosion from Tony's workshop shook the whole of Stark Tower. Bruce, who was nearest, arrived first, with Steve following closely.

The two burst into the lab, Steve exclaiming "Tony! What on _earth_ is going on?"

The explosion had blown out all the glass in the windows, test tubes had shattered and machinery strewn across the floor, smoking. The billionaire laid, clothes singed and skin smeared with soot, in the middle of a scorch mark on the floor.

The two other Avengers froze for a moment, stricken, before running to his side.  
"Oh god, Tony, what did you do this time?" Bruce murmured and began to check vital signs. He looked slowly up at Steve and shook his head.

"No…" Steve whispered, also checking Tony. His face fell when he too confirmed Bruce's conclusion.

Suddenly Tony sat up, giggling.

"The look on your faces!" he chuckled, and slid his hand under his shirt to fiddle with his arc reactor.

"Tony…" Steve said, a dark look crossing his features, "You. Are. An. Absolute _idiot!_" he finished yelling.  
Bruce was also frowning. "What was that for Tony?" he said irritably.  
Tony shrugged and got to his feet. "Got bored." He said, and left the lab.

Steve clenched the bridge of his nose, teeth gritted. Bruce patted him on the back.  
"Trust me, you haven't got the worst of it," the doctor said and called out to JARVIS. "Think you could persuade Tony to come back and tidy this up?" he asked the AI.  
"Regrettably, Doctor, Mr Stark does not wish to participate." Bruce simply sighed and began hunting for the nearest dustpan and brush.

Meanwhile, Tony was spread-eagled on his bed. A grin was on his face. That _had _been hilarious… and he was still bored. What else could he get away with?

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_**If you have a prank you want to see put it in a review or pm me!**_


	2. Natasha's Feminine Hygiene Products

_**Hey again guys, thank you for the reviews, follows and faves! This one's for** **Raychaell Dionzeros who wanted to see a scenario in which Tony relocated Natasha's feminine hygiene products :L It was great fun to write!  
If there's a prank you want to see, a review or a pm... Please? :3  
**_

_**Thanks for reading - Oh and I want to mention that Loki**_**will _feature in this!_**

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Natasha sank into the sofa, remote in one hand and a bowl of popcorn in the other. _She_ was ready for the Batman movie marathon… The other Avengers were not.

She set aside her provisions and picked up the nearest magazine – one of her own, an issue of _Weapon and Owner Weekly _and scanned through it. She threw back on the coffee table, after a couple of minutes and checked the clock. She twiddled her thumbs, and tapped her feet and sighed.

"JARVIS?"  
"Yes, Agent Romanoff?"  
"Where are the others?"  
"Dr Banner and Mr Stark are in the workshop, Agent Barton is on the roof, Mr Odinson is having a conversation with his father in the lounge on floor 31 and Mr Rodgers is tidying the gym from his session."  
"Okay, thank you JARVIS."

The assassin flicked the TV on and switched to the news. No super-evil-bad-guy was threatening the world, New York still rebuilding, the Avengers still being praised. Nothing new then.

The TV was turned off.  
"Agent Romanoff?"  
"Yes, JARVIS?"  
"The other Avengers are on their way."  
"Thank you."

Tony sauntered into the room first, Bruce and Steve next. Clint appeared out of a ventilation shaft, earning a glare from Steve and a chuckle from Tony and Bruce. Thor declared his arrival halfway down the hall by knocking over a treasured vase – Tony kindly informed him that it had been an ancient vase, one of a kind, costing millions and most importantly: It had been Pepper's favourite. "She's going to kill you!" he had said gleefully.

They took their positions on couches and in armchairs, before Natasha moved to start the DVD. She stopped.

"I'll be back in a moment." She announced, and made her way out, followed by Clint and Tony's chorus of "Natasha!" and "But we just got here!", also "C'mon we want to watch the movie!" She turned and hissed "I waited long enough for you all, so I'd appreciate it if you waited just a _little_ bit longer." Then she swiftly departed to her room. Unbeknownst to her, Tony was grinning.

When she got to her en suite, she pulled open a draw in her vanity cabinet and rummaged around for a second. She froze for a moment, and then searched more frantically. Coming up again with nothing, she yanked the rest of the draws open and rifled through them. Again, naught so she moved to her bedroom, scoured this space before getting halfway and stiffening.

Her nostrils flared and a sinister look took over her face. A scream of "ANTHONY EDWARD STARK!" reverberated around the Tower.

Clint raised his eyebrows at Tony. "You're gonna want to run now." He advised. Tony, although laughing madly, ran.


	3. A Hulk Sized Whoopee Cushion

This was the way Steve spent his days recently. He didn't go out of the tower unless for PR or Missions for fear of the hundreds of people that would converge on him and ask for autographs, hugs or photos – he was once asked to kiss a baby, which he politely had to proceed with, albeit quite grudgingly. So when he came down for breakfast one morning, and everything looked exactly as it usually did, he suspected nothing – Nor should he have, as Tony had went to great lengths to make it way.

It was just a large bowl of cereal for Steve – surprisingly a brand that coated it's product in sugar. He was sure it was almost 70% sugar, but his metabolism needed it for this morning's exercise session. He'd have a more filling breakfast later he decided – bacon, he decided, and he try and make it like Peggy had done that one time. Feelings twanged in the pit of his stomach, but even so, the thought spurred him into his routine.

He had already served himself a spoon laden with wholegrain sugar as he sat down at the table, and was just going for another when, as he sat down, a loud farting noise came from the chair. Steve sighed, got up again from the chair, and moved to the next one. Same thing happened. He pulled an irritated face and moved to the lounge area. Steve sat down and it happened again.

"Oh wow, Steve – that was _loud_!" Tony snickered from the doorway. The supersoldier jumped up angrily, splashing milk onto the floor.  
"_Steve!_" the supersoldier heard as Tony disappeared down the hallway. Steve sighed, and took a seat on the floor.

_Meanwhile, on a different floor…_

"Go on, Thor, take a seat – rest your Asgardian legs." Tony practically cooed. The demi god sat and, just like Steve, appeared to make a trumping noise. Thor leapt from his chair, yanked up the cushion and pulled something from beneath. It looked like a small, black scientific balance, with a speaker on the underside.  
"Ah! You and your Midgardian devices, Tony. A good one – making me sound flatulent when I'm not!" he gave a booming laugh and carried one, "Come now, we must find Dr. Banner." He said. Tony grinned. "Oh yeah."

After consulting JARVIS, the two made their way back to Steve who was with Bruce. When they arrived, Bruce was seething, completely frozen as Steve moved around him jerking whoopee cushion devices from his clothes. Tony immediately ducked to one side, biting a finger to prevent laughter. Bruce looked up, green in his eyes, and saw Tony leant up against the wall.

"_Stark!_" he growled, and began to move forwards only to be halted by a chorus of farting noises, "I am going to _kill _you!" he snarled… and went green. The Hulk ran towards Tony who screeched "JARVIS!"

The floor flipped down like a trapdoor and the other guy fell straight through. A very, _very _loud gaseous noise came from below followed by a deafening roar. Steve, gingerly looked down to see the Hulk struggling to get himself out of a ginormous whoopee cushion – not one of Tony's invention either; a classic, but massive whoopee cushion.

"Tony!" he exclaimed, "Where did you get that?" he asked in disbelief. Tony merely tapped his nose and winked.


	4. Barton's Bow and Arrows

_**Hey guys, just realised I haven't out a disclaimer anywhere! So here we go: everything belongs to Marvel.  
This one is also for **__**Raychaell Dionzeros**_, who asked for Tony hiding Haweye's bow and arrows - it's not quite that, but I think you'll like it.  
Always open for suggestions, so don't be afraid to review or pm me and ask. Happy reading!  


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Clint frowned. Having woken to find his bow and arrows missing from their usual place and then manually searching the top thirty floors of Stark Tower, his sense of frustration and suspicion were growing. He sighed as the elevator doors opened.

Natasha peered around the corner, a stack of papers in her hand. "Problem, Clint?" she asked as he stepped out.  
"Weapons have gone missing." He grumbled. Natasha thought for a moment.  
"Haven't seen them." She said and disappeared back around the corner.  
"Well thanks for the help then, Tasha." He complained sarcastically, more to himself than anyone.  
"Heard that!" she called and he couldn't help but give a small grin.

He strolled up the hallway, looking through open doorways to see if his quiver happened to be there, and was just coming into the open plan lounge when Bruce came up behind him.  
"You okay, Clint?" he inquired. The archer grunted.  
"Weapons have gone missing." He said again, "You haven't seen them have you?"  
Bruce shook his head; "Sorry."  
"Ah well," replied Clint, "Just gotta keep looking, I guess." And then he turned to double check the rooms he had glanced at on the way in. Bruce smiled as the archer walked away, dragging his feet – without his bow, he really was like a lost puppy.

"Wait – Clint!" yelled Steve from the lounge. Clint's head snapped up.  
"You found them?!" he asked excitedly, practically sprinting to the supersoldier.  
"Well – erm, not quite." Steve explained, "They're – They're on the news." He gestured to the 12 o'clock news that he had been watching.

The SHIELD agent did a double take, but sure enough there on the television were his weapons.  
"Whaaaaat?" screeched Clint, and pressed his face to the screen, eyes narrowed as his carefully scrutinised the image. Bruce quickly unmuted the volume and the three Avengers listened intently.

"_Today's headlining news is that of the Avenger, Clint Barton's famous bow and arrows." _The newsreader read, _"At exactly 6am this morning, the items were unexpectedly found on the internet shopping site eBay with open bidding. No response has come from the Avenger himself as to what is happening, but Tony Stark has confirmed this is really Hawkeye's bow and arrows and all money earned from the sale will go to the charity '_Rebuilding NY City'. _Furthermore, eBay's CEO has said that this lot will most definitely be the highest selling ever in the history of the site; the current bidding price is over 60 million dollars. In other new-"_

Bruce switched the TV off. There was an uneasy silence as Clint fumed silently and growled "JARVIS, shut down that eBay lot _now. _And tell me where Tony is – I am going to hurt him so much. "


	5. Tony Habla Español

_**Not going to say alot here today, just that I changed the summary a little bit to better reflect the story and DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything, surprise, surprise. Anyway, I want to apologise to any Spanish speakers for this chapter - I used my pitifully small leel of spanish and google to translate all the speach. Sorry if it's not correct!  
****Don't forget - always open for suggestions**_.

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Tony meandered into the workshop – it was an almost taunting the way he walked, as if he knew something you didn't, Clint decided. Clint, Bruce and Steve had gathered here; they needed to talkwith Tony.

"Tú querías verme?" he said, an eyebrow raised. Steve frowned.  
"Please don't mess with us, Stark," he said seriously, "We know you've changed every single interface in the tower to Spanish."

Tony gestured wildly with his hands, "Lo siento, no hablo Inglés." He replied. The supersoldier pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration these… these _pranks _were beginning to get old – and something told Steve he hadn't even hit his peak yet.

"Tony," warned Bruce, "While I have a decent knowledge of Spanish, you can't expect anyone else in the tower to know it – and Pepper!" he said suddenly getting an epiphany.  
"Yeah, you can't expect Pepper to know Spanish. She won't be happy with you, will she?" Clint supplied, smiling triumphantly.

"Lo siento, no hablo Inglés." Tony repeated, his expression smug. Clint threw his arms in the air while Steve sighed tiredly next to him.  
"Can you two please talk some sense into him?" the supersoldier asked, "I'm going to go read the news."

The remaining three were in silence: Tony sat and began to tinker with the chest plate of his suit, while the doctor and the SHIELD agent thought about the way. Suddenly Clint sat bolt upright.

"JARIS," he said sweetly, "Can you change all the Spanish back to English?" he look pleased with himself.  
"Mis disculpas, Agente Barton, pero me han dicho expresamente que no se ajusten a dicha petición." The AI replied. Clint sighed.  
"I really thought that would work!" he grubled.

"¿Uh, Señor Tony?" Bruce asked gingerly. The billionaire beamed at him.  
"¿Sí, Bruce?"  
"¿Por favor, er, cambie… el idioma a Inglés?" the doctor asked. Tony seemed to consider it… When the captain stormed in and threw the paper onto the table.

"It's printed in _Spanish!_" He explained and turned a steely eye to Tony, "If this isn't changed back soon-"  
"JARVIS por favor, pon algo de música flamenco." Tony interrupted him and suddenly unbearably loud flamenco music blasted through the workshop.

"Oh dear god above." murmured Clint, gave up and stalked out. Bruce and Steve were sharing an exasperated look when the archer walked back in.  
"He's playing that goddamn music throughout the tower!" he yelled.

Suddenly Natasha stormed in, murder in her eyes. She marched straight up to Tony looked him dead in the eyes, and started talking _very _quickly in Spanish. Tony paled and looked lost, clearly having not learnt enough Spanish to understand it all, but enough to get by. Natasha suddenly made a crushing motion with her hands and Tony flinched. The assassin then turned and strode out.

"JARVIS, la música." Tony said meekly. The tower fell silent.


	6. Steve and the TV

**_Time to reply to some requests:  
To the _Anonymous_ who asked for the 'Poddy incident': while I can write about gore and sex, toilet humor is something I (generally speaking) avoid, and I will not feel comfortable writing about that so I am going to avoid it. Sorry._**

_**To the Guest who signed themself off as **_**AMR**_**: Alot of what you asked for I was going to write about anyway! So happy coincedence there, but whenever I do decide to write about one you've requested I will mention you ^^**_

_**To **_**Raychaell Dionzeros**_**: Thank you for all the requests, I love reader input! The one about Thor poptart****s**** in in process and will be out soon - today if possible :)**_

_**That's it so have a**_  
_**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing - everything belongs to MARVEL.**_  
_**and a**_  
_**WARNING: This one is based around porn. If you do not feel comfortable reading about that, just skip to the next chapter.**_

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Throwing down his bag next to the sofa, Steve threw himself down onto it. His gym session had been… _stressing _to say the least.

Every single machine he'd been on had either not worked in the first place or broken as soon as he had stepped onto it. Eventually, after 20 minutes and increasing frustration directed at Tony, Steve had gone for a run.

After an hour and 45 minutes, the supersoldier had got back to the tower, grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge (found the remote in there too, for some reason) and settled down to watch the news.

Pressing the – now familiar – power button, the screen lit up and on screen was a blonde. The camera panned out to show her in a bedroom, completely naked. Steve flushed and moved to change the channel, but only succeeded in turning the volume up to full. He, unfortunately, caught the end of her sentence: "-sex with Captain America."

Steve paled and frantically pressed buttons on the remote. He succeeded in muting it, unmuting it, brightening the screen and then fast forwarding. When the video engaged he saw something that would be burned into his brain forever. The blonde was still naked, but now _on_ a man dressed in a poorly made Captain America outfit. A little part of Steve died inside.

The main problem was, however, the screaming. The blonde was shrieking and it was _extremely _loud. Steve pressed buttons with new life – but this time absolutely _nothing _happened. By this time, Steve couldn't look away and watched getting more horrified by the second as the blonde humped the pseudo-Captain America. His eyes slowly closed and he slipped down into the cushions, slowly shaking his head. The noise of the woman faded away as Steve's inside curled up inside him, quivering.

Suddenly Bruce burst into the room. "Steve!" he exclaimed, almost as horror-struck as he realised what was on the TV. "JARVIS – Turn off the TV, please." He gulped and averted his eyes.

The supersoldier snapped out of his traumatized stupor, a haunted look on his face.  
"Thank you." He croaked out, and Bruce looked upon him with sympathy.  
"Tony?" the doctor asked. Steve nodded, still looking numb.


	7. Hidden Pastries, Angry God

_**Woo! An extra chapter because I'm feeling generous and didn't post one yesterday. So anyway, here's another for Raychaell ****Dionzeros** who asked for a situation in which Tony hid Thor's poptarts. Happy reading and, as always, I'm open for requests :)  
**Disclaimer: Don't own nothin' - it all belongs to MARVEL.**_

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Tony was in his workshop. The suit's head feed was playing up after his latest round with the other guy because as much as the Hulk liked him, Tony was just _that _irritating! All these pranks were going well, and entertaining Tony immensely – he had some great footage. The one of Steve's reaction to porn? Priceless. Just thinking about it now brought a wide grin to Tony's face.

After checking the glitching screen for the third time, Tony set down the suit and reached for his cup of coffee. It was now cold, but after working the hours tony did, you get used to it. Eh just finished the last drop when Thor stormed in wielding Mjolnir, with murder in his eyes.

"Anthony," he boomed, "What have you done with them?"  
"No idea what you're talking about, Point Break." replied Tony, yawning.

Suddenly Tony was up against the wall, a hand round his throat. His legs didn't touch the ground, and no matter how much he scrabbled at Thor's arm, the demi god was not letting go.

"Do not play games with me, Anthony." He roared, "Where are they?" he raised his hammer and tony eyes widened.  
"What? _Where are what?_" choked out Tony desperately.  
"_MY POPTARTS!_" bellowed Thor. Tony heard thunder outside.

"They're – They're under your bed!" yelled Tony, "Now let me go!"  
He was dropped to the floor, spluttering. "Couldn't have just asked nicely?" he coughed. The demi god's eyes narrowed, but soon began laughing.

"Oh, such the trickster, Tony, you remind me of my brother when we were younger – Where again were my delicious pastries?"  
"Under your bed." said Tony again, rubbing his neck, "And Natasha's bed and Cint's bed and Steves, Bruce's, several of the guest room, a few of the toilet cisterns – they've been wrapped up though – under some of the couches, there's a few on the roof, one in the pool communal shower, one in the pool-"  
"My friend, perhaps it would be best to just show me?" prompted Thor. Tony nodded; he did not want to go up against Thor again without his suit.

"Yes, and speaking of Loki, my brother is coming to visit soon. Anthony, could he perhaps borrow a bed for a while?" asked Thor, a ridiculous grin plastered across his features.  
"What!?" Tony cried, knocking the coffee mug onto the floor where it smashed.  
"Excellent!" beamed Thor and swept from the room. Tony stood there for a moment, an out-of-his-depth expression on his face, before sighing and following to show Thor where his beloved toasted pastries were hidden.


	8. The Water Bucket Incident

_**I'm not going to spend much time here today, I'm just going to apologise for lateness in general. School, loss of muse, etc, getting in the way. Sorry! Anyway, thank you all so much for the reviews, follows and favs, it was them that made me get my ass into gear and write something.  
A request from Romaniasdoll and the introduction of Loki. Enjoy!**_

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For the previous three hours, while Steve and Bruce had been out at SHIELD and the two assassins were away on a mission, Tony had run around the house setting up a myriad of trap doorways. He had just finished the last one as JARVIS spoke.

"_Sir_," JARVIS said, not six days after Tony had hidden all of Thor's poptarts, "_There is an energy reading from the roof identical to those of tesseract teleportation._"

Tony, jumping down from a step-ladder, grinned. "I knew they would be back soon."

Shoving the ladder into an empty guest room he raced back to the workshop, practically cackling. He would watch their progress through the building from a few monitors, while putting on the face that he was tinkering with his suit – it wasn't a failsafe plan, but the only one who was likely to interrupt was Pepper and, well, she was used to this sort of thing.

A flicker of movement caught his eye. Yes, there they were, striding through the halls. The God of Mischief was sauntering through first and it made Tony's eyes light up, a broad smile spreading across his face.

However, as Loki swung open the first door, he was too quick and completely bypassed the trap… and instead Thor's blonde head got covered in motor oil. Tony winced. He was probably going to pay for that.

Next one, he promised himself, Loki would be covered by the next one – oh wait, no, that wasn't going to happen as he pushed the next door and stepped around the edge. This time it was a bucket of feathers landed on Thor. Tony could practically hear the ringing as the bucket lost momentum and halted like some sort of crappy plastic helmet.

This carried on for about the next eight doors with Thor getting covered in a viscous soup of different liquids that no one wants to imagine, until finally the two Asgardian princes came to Tony's workshop door; the last trap. With a look like a light bulb had just lit up above his head, the billionaire spoke in quick, hushed tones to his AI, a beaming a Cheshire cat smile.

Loki appeared behind the glass, a smirk on his face. He moved to push the door and Tony narrowed his eyes. The bucket on the edge of the door wobbled, and his breath hitched almost inaudibly. Loki, too, saw the bucket and anticipated the fall. Tony gave a unsubtle cough and-

"_Mr Laufeyson, welcome to Stark Tower._" said the AI. Loki hesitated, if only for a moment, but that was enough. A shiny green bucket tipped and everything seemed to go in slow motion – a look of anger crossed the God's face, of amazement and then dreadful expectancy. He looked Tony dead in the eye and time reengaged. Water spilled across the floor, drenching Loki. For a moment there was a stunned silence as if neither could believe what had just happened… And then Tony began to laugh.

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_**Don't forget to review and suggest ideas...**_


	9. The Dangers of Midgardian Rubbish

_**I am so very sorry. I know it has been a long time since the last update and this chapter is really short, but I wanted to get it out now. If it's any consolation, I'm writing another chapter at this very moment. I will get around to the requests.**_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own the Avengers.  
**_

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Tony grinned and stepped back. It was a classic prank, but it would be one of the best. He took another step back, examined the banana peel carefully placed on the polished wood floor and nodded his approval.

Loud footsteps sounded the arrival of the God of Thunder from up the hall and Tony ducked into the nearest room, giggling quietly.

When he traipsed nearer, Tony coughed discretely, causing Thor to turn. He kept walking though, and trod heavily on the fruit skin. With a surprised grunt, the god hit the floor with a crash.

It took all of Tony's will power, not to burst out laughing at the sight of a bemused Asgardian prince sprawled across the floor. Said prince pulled himself upright, stooped to pick up the skin and grumbled "How unfortunate for a piece of Midgardian rubbish to be left in my way." He moved away down the hall, Tony assumed to throw it away.


	10. Scaredey-Clint

_**This story is ridiculous, but DAMN I love writing it!  
I definitely hope to write this faster and without huge gaps in between updates, but I have to deal with what life throws at me. Eh, whatever. -end author talk-**_

_**DISCLAIMER: No, I don't own anything.**_

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The room was dark and quiet. Heavy, panicked breathing could be heard. Tony and Clint sat, faces illuminated blue by the computer screen in front of them.

"Oh shit." Clint breathed, jerking the mouse. "He's right fucking there!" said the archer, his voice cracking.  
"He can't get you, Clint, unless you look at him." Tony urged, "We've only got one more note to get."  
Clint nodded, but the look on his face suggested he wanted to whimper.

Suddenly, the two superheroes screamed and threw themselves backwards. Clint toppled from his chair, landing painfully in between the wall and the desk, while Tony's wheeled chair carried him three metres to the very back of the room, where he slowly revolved until he faced the wall. The computer screen was simply showing static.

"Urgh. I need something to drink." groaned Clint and sat up. Tony rose and helped him up.  
"Definitely before we play that again." He agreed and then the two left the room, still feeling a bit shaken.

They were feeling calmer as they stepped into the kitchen, even managing to laugh about how ridiculous they must have looked to anyone watching. Clint pulled open a cupboard, but froze as the light flickered.

"Ominous." He chuckled uncertainly. Tony frowned.  
"Diagnostic, JARVIS?" he asked.  
_"Nothing unusual detected, sir." _The AI replied.

Tony grunted, but didn't say anything as he gathered two glasses from another cupboard. He was just beginning to pour themselves a drink when the lights flickered again, but didn't return to power this time.

"JARVIS?" said Tony again.  
_"Sorry, sir, nothing seems to be amiss. Shall I run a full scale diagnostic?" _  
"Yeah." Said Tony, and if Clint didn't know better, he might have said Tony sounded nervous.

Suddenly Clint brought his hand down on Tony's forearm and clamped it in an iron grip.  
"Tony!" he whimpered and raised his hands to point in a direction across the room.

Tony slowly looked in the direction Clint was pointing and his muscles locked up. The eight-foot figure standing on the other side of the room was unmistakable with its sharp black and white suit and featureless face; Slenderman was standing in Tony's kitchen.

As the philanthropist turned to confirm what he was seeing to Clint, he realised the archer had gone. Clint had bolted out through the door and was running down the corridor. As he skidded round the corner, he pushed himself off the wall and launched right into Loki. The trickster God had the smuggest look on his punch-able face and Clint's epiphany slowly dawned across his face. He face then darkened as he hissed: "You mother_fucker._"

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_**Always open for requests.**_


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